8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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