If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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