I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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