you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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