Your face is a jimmy john
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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