Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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