I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize