Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
