Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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