I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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