Texts From Last Night

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  (954): View more from Florida

  Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.

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  (954): Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay. http://tfl.nu/sog2
  Replies (45) Good night (999) Bad night (2325)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before

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  (516): I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before http://tfl.nu/l3md
  Replies (60) Good night (822) Bad night (5110)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.

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  (801): i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away. http://tfl.nu/p1dq
  Replies (20) Good night (3089) Bad night (4069)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.

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  (503): Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie. http://tfl.nu/g56z
  Replies (13) Good night (3735) Bad night (1101)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.

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  (815): I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire. http://tfl.nu/5e7s
  Replies (9) Good night (6423) Bad night (1797)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?

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  (585): I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei? http://tfl.nu/dlk1
  Replies (22) Good night (3632) Bad night (1083)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.

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  (931): I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex. http://tfl.nu/p3z3
  Replies (20) Good night (1703) Bad night (4655)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt

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  (623): I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt http://tfl.nu/6d18
  Replies (2) Good night (896) Bad night (1812)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.

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  (214): He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash. http://tfl.nu/jj6x
  Replies (7) Good night (2052) Bad night (931)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying

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  (971): you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying http://tfl.nu/m75c
  Replies (8) Good night (1710) Bad night (573)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating

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  (563): I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating http://tfl.nu/zdvr
  Replies (2) Good night (702) Bad night (382)
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  (805): View more from California

  Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.

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  (805): Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones. http://tfl.nu/uefm
  Replies (4) Good night (1248) Bad night (383)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.

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  (417): People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty. http://tfl.nu/m1l5
  Replies (2) Good night (589) Bad night (310)
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  (661): View more from California

  Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.

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  (661): Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back. http://tfl.nu/53qo
  Replies (1) Good night (364) Bad night (323)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut

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  (563): P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut http://tfl.nu/74xa
  Replies (5) Good night (383) Bad night (130)

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