oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Someone shattered a urinal.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar