so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night