He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook