Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.

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  (415): She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver. http://tfl.nu/1xbw
  Replies (39) Good night (843) Bad night (4407)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.

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  (215): distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard. http://tfl.nu/840x
  Replies (36) Good night (4253) Bad night (1834)
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  (530): View more from California

  I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.

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  (530): I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons. http://tfl.nu/pcjk
  Replies (20) Good night (6117) Bad night (811)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.

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  (228): Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer. http://tfl.nu/k59r
  Replies (6) Good night (3805) Bad night (982)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup

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  (416): he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup http://tfl.nu/u0xy
  Replies (20) Good night (1498) Bad night (5287)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried

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  (405): He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried http://tfl.nu/s324
  Replies (11) Good night (1391) Bad night (1572)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.

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  (757): We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out. http://tfl.nu/e9z5
  Replies (4) Good night (1162) Bad night (3607)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.

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  (404): I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around. http://tfl.nu/j7r2
  Replies (7) Good night (738) Bad night (1626)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.

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  (817): Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday. http://tfl.nu/w47f
  Replies (9) Good night (2786) Bad night (744)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.

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  (816): It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one. http://tfl.nu/pa8f
  Replies (1) Good night (1190) Bad night (486)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.

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  (215): I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear. http://tfl.nu/e69q
  Replies (2) Good night (697) Bad night (370)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any

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  (719): I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any http://tfl.nu/l6nw
  Replies (1) Good night (291) Bad night (598)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed

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  (717): so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed http://tfl.nu/ot6x
  Replies (1) Good night (505) Bad night (272)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.

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  (318): She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust. http://tfl.nu/o3wc
  Replies (4) Good night (715) Bad night (373)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.

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  (425): You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you. http://tfl.nu/vxkn
  Replies (8) Good night (859) Bad night (344)

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