Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.

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  (617): living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST. http://tfl.nu/nhyx
  Replies (20) Good night (3792) Bad night (546)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out

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  (612): Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out http://tfl.nu/cyb8
  Replies (45) Good night (5610) Bad night (1071)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.

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  (214): I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall. http://tfl.nu/zz1u
  Replies (35) Good night (5770) Bad night (1594)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.

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  (314): Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced. http://tfl.nu/yqud
  Replies (14) Good night (6293) Bad night (869)
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  (925): View more from California

  I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.

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  (925): I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard. http://tfl.nu/47cs
  Replies (13) Good night (3278) Bad night (1507)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.

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  (615): you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this. http://tfl.nu/3l9v
  Replies (30) Good night (1123) Bad night (7672)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.

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  (720): I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else. http://tfl.nu/ss1v
  Replies (4) Good night (1209) Bad night (698)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today

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  (712): But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today http://tfl.nu/ayt6
  Replies (4) Good night (547) Bad night (1326)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy

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  (210): I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy http://tfl.nu/96zr
  Replies (4) Good night (1195) Bad night (686)
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  (760): View more from California

  Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.

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  (760): Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application. http://tfl.nu/49rg
  Replies (1) Good night (882) Bad night (328)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics

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  (904): It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics http://tfl.nu/x92g
  Replies (1) Good night (759) Bad night (396)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.

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  (330): Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative. http://tfl.nu/cyri
  Replies (1) Good night (449) Bad night (313)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket

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  (660): I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket http://tfl.nu/m2g4
  Replies (2) Good night (423) Bad night (235)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.

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  (360): Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits. http://tfl.nu/3dqo
  Replies (5) Good night (1463) Bad night (300)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party

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  (402): In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party http://tfl.nu/gnzr
  Replies (1) Good night (474) Bad night (282)

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