i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
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I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
