And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
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