i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
