Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
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you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize