You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
what day is it and did you see me today?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
