sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just pee around me
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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