What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
