I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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