Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Randomize
