So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
