i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I am naked and annoyed.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
