This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
