he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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