Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
