We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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