Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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