Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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