What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
