I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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