she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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