Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize