The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
