He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
