I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize