Dual....:-)
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
