btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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