i barfeds in our rink
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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