Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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