I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize