god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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