sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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