Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
