You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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