oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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