he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
