fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
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In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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