Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
