tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
