i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
