If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
