sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
