Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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