This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
