i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
