hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
