I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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