apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I want her autograph on my taint
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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