he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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